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possession an e-story... Hacked By Nick Pallodan When I heard the guys in white coats had come for Johnny Guitar, and that he'd be a complimentary guest at Chateau Nutbar for a couple weeks, I was seized by conflicting desires... hack into his computer to see if I could discover the reason for his recent unhinging, or... hack into his computer to see if I could screw up as many files as possible, and wreak some good old revenge on that miserable bastard... In his morass of unorganized files, I found little, except this odd collection. Just waiting to be shared. And just another reason why email is way, way more dangerous than the telephone... Nick Subject: Well, Well, Well From: Betty Joe Byolosky <BjB@legover.com> To: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> Well, Well, Well. Quagmire and I were emailing and he mentioned you had a web site. Well I took a look, and what should my wondering eyes behold, but, MY PHOTOGRAPHS!!!!. Yeeeeesssss Sirree Johnniee!!! Well now I admit I always believed you had kept them even though you denied it, but TIME'S UP!!! Those are my photos and I want them back. Interesting for me to find that this still pisses me off after all this time, but art is art, and that is my art your exhibiting without so much as a by your leave never mind a byline. Now, in the midst of what seems to be a serious bout of rage, I will say that I am glad your doing well and clearly pleased with yourself. After you return my negatives to me, you may continue to use the photos on your website but I expect to see my business name, Betty Joe Byolosky Design, beneath them. The least you can do. I look forward to receiving my negatives soon. My address is attached. Subject: Re: Well, Well, Well From: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> To: Betty Joe Byolosky <BjB@legover.com> I return from a trip to find yr rant of last Sunday pm… Quite the surprise! What's it been…since 1975? Sometimes you wonder if any old paths will cross, but this is outta the blue. So, you're hooked up to the web these days, are you? Cool. And as you say, you've seen my site. My site with "your" photos? Sorry, Betty, but you can bitch & self-righteously whine all you want, but had you looked closely at "your" photos, you would have noted they are merely scans of the pix which ran with the interviews in the Running Dog... there are no negatives, there are no prints. I have no idea where any any of that stuff could be... As for credits, well, sure... I gave 'em to Quagmire...I can give 'em to you...Now I know you're still alive... I've checked my Running Dog files, and the only pix of "yours" that deserve credit are the Hendrix, Yes and David Bowie. The Dylan pix in Running Dog are mine... I did the concert ones...But don't forget that these pix, as well as the interviews, ultimately belong to The Dog. You want a copyright hassle with them? Yeah...I agree: it's unlikely they care... If I did have any remaining stuff of "yours", it probably got destroyed in 1982...Helen and I were living in a condo downtown, and I had so much stuff we decided to put it in storage...an old brick joint just down the street. I still remember coming back from a vacation and Helen noticing an item in the paper: storage building burns for a week. It was our building. I lost virtually all my 60s memorabilia in that blaze... a real mind-wrencher. As for crediting these shots as being done by Betty Joe Byolosky Design, that seems a tad overzealous, as your byline in those days was quite different, if I recall. My site is not for profit, so I may have to morally struggle with your desire to promote yourself today with work done 30 years ago... And as for you giving me "permission"... well, it's always great to start the day off with a laugh... What exactly do you design, anyways? As for your gladness over my self-satisfied state of affairs... thanx... I gotta admit it: yes, I have done very, very well. It's great to retire youngish. But then, being a stupidly rich, self-indulgent jerk having fun after a successful career should broaden your smile, no? Who woulda guessed? I also see you live fairly close… surprising... you know, I never wondered where you finally ended up… so maybe I'll drive over for a visit. I promise not to gloat… And, of course, credits are as credits do. Check it out.... PS: enclosed is a shot of Mark Lane and I taken last week...no fun gettin old, is it? Subject: [Fwd: Well, Well, Well] From: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> To: Mark Lane <mark.lane@main.ca> Mark… get yr harp out... it's time to sing the blues... Blast from the ancient past, man… Read the email I just got from Betty… Done? Can you believe it, man? talk about a friggin t-bolt from deep space… like an ethereal email ghost… and she lives close! I've included the email I sent her back... self-explanatory... OK, sure… maybe a little heavy on the "I'm OK - you're not" digs, but yeah, she did take some of the pix... but I don't have 'em…the posted shots were scanned from my copies of the old Dogs... Jeez… man… I still can't quite believe it… whatta zap… I musta stared at her name on my email for a minute before I opened it… surreal… I don't think you ever really knew her… how many times did you see her? Five? We were opposites, remember? Ledzep vs David Bowie… should never have married her… always felt roped into that… shit, what was I thinking?… she was nuthin but a rock journalist groupie who used me to get closer to the true porch light bulb… rock stars… shoulda flung her out when the bugs started to swarm… I see she's gone pretentious over the years… I love the 3-barrelled name she's operating under... Christ, what did Quag and I call her during those old Dog days? BB Sting? Betty Bye?… well, stupid bitch thinks she can harass me... 'nother think comin! here's a hit on investing: The Doc called me this am about a new issue investment fund... guaranteed by the bank... short name is Total Trust... Frankie will know about it...for outside your Retirement Fund... pretty well guarantees a very high, tax-efficient return... about 12%... but the profits are considered capital gains... so it annualizes at around 18% pre-tax... billion-dollar offering, so very liquid... trades like a stock, so no lock-in... ask him about it... I've decided to think of my portfolio only in 5-year bites... altho today has pretty well wiped out black friday... that, and the sade vids... wait'll you see them... definitely arriving monday... you could have had them tomorrow if you lived anywhere near civilization... Subject: do you know? From: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> To: Quagmire <quag@queeg.com> Quagger... hear you're back from Mexico City... still writing for Mark's web page? Question for you... did betty simply email you out of the blue looking for me... or are you getting oral sex from her in exchange for info? she's now freaking out on me over no credits on my site for her crummy rock pix... like I didn't ask for "permission"... that was good for a laugh... Interesting, tho... first contact in 26 years! Maybe I should say first opportunity for me to gloat in 26 years... ha what it is that betty joe byolosky design actually designs? Subject: Re: do you know? From: Quagmire <quag@queeg.com> To: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> Oh, I mentioned to her that you had a page and told her to check it out, I didn't expect this kind of reaction! Better hire Johnny Cochrane... (Speaking of JC, I do a www page for this author who wrote a book where JC was involved, he got a copy of the book signed by JC and various other principals in the case) Yes, I have returned from Mex... not at all what I expected... but at least my spanish has improved... Subject: bjbd? From: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> To: Quagmire <quag@queeg.com> what it is that betty joe byolosky design actually designs? love the affectation of three names.. a sort of female david lee roth... Subject: Re: bjbd? From: Quagmire <quag@queeg.com> To:Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> you wrote: what it is that betty joe byolosky design actually designs? Hard to describe, it involves doing store windows and also being involved with craft fairs and trade shows. Sounds like a good racket from what I've heard. Subject: Re: do you know? From:Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> To: Quagmire <quag@queeg.com> interesting... last I heard she was a waitress at that fish'n chip joint ... the craft fair thing goes way back... she was making candles in the 70s well, I've heard nada back from her... Subject: "My photos..." From: Mark Lane <mark.lane@main.ca> To: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> What photos? What does she mean? The occasional rock 'n' roll thing? Did she really take them?... or is it the usual argument in such cases? DSL -- you bet. Wish to hell I could get it. My server was down from 3 pm yesterday until 10 am this morning -- no fuckin dialup, nuthin. Piss me off. Gonna include my dialer on this machine... and look around for someone better. Too bad I paid a year in advance... but there're only a few months to go. Tech... ah, might buy in again. I see that software CEO unloaded thousands of his shares couple of days after I did, like 2/3rds of his holdings... what does that tell you? A lot of it is up... but they'll all be down again pretty soon. Subject: "art" From: Mark Lane <mark.lane@main.ca> To: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> And Johnny -- since when is "photography" art? Anyone can point and click... but to draw the same thing, well... It's like saying: my car is nice, it's art; I drive, therefore I'm an artist. By the way, did you steal her negatives? Subject: postmodern... From: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> To: Mark Lane <mark.lane@main.ca> Here's a postmodern stock market analysis: reality is the price when you sell...all other prices are fiction. We're not selling now; we're not selling next year...we're gonna sell when we need the cash...buy and hold...that should be the premise behind all you buy...short-term flips tend to average out, or end slightly lower. Our smiles return when the economy rebounds... No response yet from betty... can you believe that shit? A whole 26 years later and not much has changed... but now I know where she lives... metaphorically... so let the games begin... remember, I told you I had a feeling I was being traced... nothing like getting wired over a handful of over-exposed b&ws... ha ha I'm still laughing... Subject: web impact From: Mark Lane <mark.lane@main.ca> To: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> Did I tell you about Quagmire? He's emailed me, says he was threatened re his Mexico City piece... some gangster read it, threatens death. So he's abandoned it, he says. I said, you want me to take it down from the Highwater Marks site 'til you get back? No, he says. Leave it. Don't know of he's exaggerating or not. Might be his attitude... says he can't get into "nicknames" like "The Nose", and the rest. Don't e-mail him about this... ------------------------------------------------------------- The markets. You have to consider buying some more tech here, hedge yr original price?? I'm thinking about some small packets of my smaller holdings, really lower my buyins. Subject: rationalization maybe From: Mark Lane <mark.lane@main.ca> To: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> Here's what Quagmire said, exactly: Mark... I stopped the journal because a few weeks ago I was at a dinner with some rich spaniards and a sleazy-looking, middle-aged, greasy broad I was seated with started talking about the web. I mentioned your site and said I was writing a book, and that parts of my journal were being pre-published on Highwater Marks. The next morning I'm woken early by a pounding on the door. I think it's Carlos Luna, my driver, ready to take me to Teotihuacàn, so I open it up and stare into the ugly face of a drunk in an expensive, if garish blue sharkskin suit. Can I help you?, I ask. Si, he says, and pops me one on the nose. Be careful about what you write about Mexico, he says. I wouldn't want to have to make another trip to your door, senor. Then it comes back to me through the mezcal fog... that overdressed broad... wasn't she telling me that her mal-adjusted adult son, a gangster of some sort, was surfing the net the other day and came across some guy saying bad things about Mexico City. Little Carlos, she said, is known to be homicidal when drinking, and, she said, she was glad it was just the internet, and not someone he might get after here in town. So I go and blab. My blend of fictional unreality is bound to piss off people, that's fine, but I want to be more than just a thousand miles away when that happens. Those guys have contacts all over. That's why I've stopped the goddamn journal. ------------------------------------------------------------ The markets: not sell! "Buy", I said... y'know, lower yr overall share price. Most of my stuff is half of what I bought it at, etc. I'm thinking I should be buying these to lower my overall buyin. These are small holdings. If the nazzer were to go to the low teens, I'd be tempted to buy big there. Subject: Re: My Photographs From: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> To: Betty Joe Byolosky <BjB@legover.com> You stunned into silence? Subject: Sade San Diego From: Mark Lane <mark.lane@main.ca> To: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> Watched the vid last night. High quality performance there... langorous, just like her CDs. The band is v. good, great stretch-out at the end of Smooth Operator... also in Paradise. The visuals on Pearls exactly as you'd imagine them... a tree, an African sky, the vortexing keyboard, beautiful stuff. As for No Ordinary Love -- man, it's a classic. The Nubian has some nice moves... the way she closes a song by raising her arms, her slinky body rolls, etc. Got a really unique vibe. You could easily become a stalker if she lived nearby... All in all, pretty damn good for a concert video. Subject: Re: My Photographs From: Betty Joe Byolosky <BjB@legover.com> To: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> Johnny: Having taken the time to investigate, I have confirmed that the Running Dog, paying me $5 to publish the photo; not paying me a wage and not retaining the negatives, were indeed entitled to what is referred to as first time publishing rights only. According to the Copyright Law I retain the rights to all publication until 50 years after the developing of the negatives. Fortunately I do have the negatives of the Bowie photos. Please remove my pictures from your website as I am not comfortable with your use of them. Subject: Re: My Photographs From: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> To: Betty Joe Byolosky <BjB@legover.com> As the firesign theatre used to say... Nick Danger: "What kind of chump do you take me for?" Nancy: "First class." Sure, I believe you suddenly "found" any negs... Subject: Re: My Photographs From: Betty Joe Byolosky <BjB@legover.com> To: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> Indeed your probably are a chump, however that was not my point. I have always had the negatives from the Yes concert, the Doors, Rod Stewart (in colour) and the David Bowie Concert (also in colour). It was the shoe box full of the rest of my negs that has mysteriously gone "up in smoke". As it happens the shot of David you used is one of the few that I luckily had not stored in the box. I repeat, please remove my pictures from your web site. Thank you Subject: holy shit From: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> To: Quagmire <quag@queeg.com> Quag-lips... You can't imagine the fucking hoops that zany betty byes is trying to drag me thru... first, I'm accused of stealing her pictures... then she says she has them... then she says all the offending pix have to be removed... I said I'd give her credit and told her to fuck off back into the mists of time… Do you actually converse with her on a regular basis? how did this all come up? I get a sort of ill-defined "stalker" vibe off this... Subject: Re: holy shit From: Quagmire <quag@queeg.com> To: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> Beats me, I haven't heard anything from her since I talked to her about all this a few weeks ago ... despite a couple of e-mails to her. Subject: She can take a leap From: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> To: Mark Lane <mark.lane@main.ca> 666... I've attached her latest rants from yesterday and this am... christ, it's like some harpy from the mist, emerging after 26 years to shriek and wail and demand retribution... what the fuck is she gonna do? sue me? those pix are all scans from The Dog... I'm gonna suggest she go back under her rock and disappear for another 26 years... Subject: Betty, Betty Negative From: Mark Lane <mark.lane@main.ca> To: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> Jesus... she isn't very happy about this, is she? Subject: what next? From: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> To: Mark Lane <mark.lane@main.ca> Is she pissed off? Sure, and it's great… but watch her carefully… I've been pondering the past… this whole thing has got me thinking… she was always a few steps ahead… I always found out about stuff after the fact… you know that bitch screwed around on me pretty well the whole time we were married? OK, yeah, OK… I know I had a few flings myself in those days… shit, who didn't? it was free love… whatta oxymoron that is… OK, maestro...what would you do? Subject: she's askin for it From: Mark Lane <mark.lane@main.ca> To: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> She's begging to be whipped... Question: David Bowie, does he care about the expropriation of his image? Fact: you're rich. Fact: she takes you to court -- can she afford it? Suppose the male chauvinist pig would say her assault is a "desperate cry for help". Well, after that last e-mail, the direct command to cease & desist -- maybe I'd be silent for a week or two... then say, what do you want? You have a choice: take the photo credits, or have them replaced with pix by somebody else. Well, games. Bullshit. You don't need it. History is on yr side -- BJ made a bad choice. Now she's trying to prove it wasn't. Cut her the slack she doesn't deserve. Subject: OK...I'll relent... From: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> To: Mark Lane <mark.lane@main.ca> Markko Pollo: Silent for a week or two?… but why wait? sounds like she only wants one pix removed... no doubt the close-up of the bowie pix she took at the interview... she's always liked that best… so I take it down… is that going to stop people from reading the interview? Nah… if I really wanted to blow her away, I could offer her an email link for people who want to buy the pix off her...wouldn't that be rolling over and showing my belly?... now I'm contrite and emasculated Subject: Betty Joe From: Mark Lane <mark.lane@main.ca> To: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> Yes... rolling over. Rich guy like you, I'd go further -- offer her a thousand bucks, say, look babe, we were a unit then, who knows who owns/did what? But I'll put a link/give you a joint credit. Don't want to fight with you, babe. Then was then. Thus she becomes an ex-mistress... "The Man Who Understands Women" Subject: How Much? From: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> To: Mark Lane <mark.lane@main.ca> $1,000 ???????????? Let's not cut off our balls to spite our dicks... Subject: other people's $$ From: Mark Lane <mark.lane@main.ca> To: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> Just love giving away other people's dough, is all... be grandiose, round everything out in zeros. Plus I drank a bottle of Barrolo last night... don't feel grandio this morning. A page out of Pallodan’s book -- whenever you screw up or cross the line, just open yr wallet. The sulky faces give way to righteousness, then greed. Works every time. Hey, his ex is still working like a slave in his office. His ex mistress is still running errands for him. Just lay low... silence, exile and cunning. Subject: Re: Betty Joe From: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> To: Mark Lane <mark.lane@main.ca> OK... I think I'll take some of your advice and run silent, run deep for a couple weeks... either that or simply take the bloody pictures down and just forget about it... altho I do feel a strange attraction to screwing her around a bit... those pix are from the Running Dog... does she have proof of ownership over something so nebulous as pix in an underground paper from 30 years ago? I just hate to give in so, well, quickly... Subject: decided to end it... From: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> To: Mark Lane <mark.lane@main.ca> markmeister... This is silly… what are we talking about here? I'm already bored with this whole scenario... these are days I'm not sure I want to remember... I emailed her this morning... here it is… hopefully, this will be the end of it: Subject: OK... From: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> To: Betty Joe Byolosky <BjB@legover.com> Enuff blather about negs, photos, copyrights, personal property, comfort zones...blah, blah, blah Check out the offending web pages. I've given you appropriate credit, plus an email link. The Bowie page gets about 575 hits a month (mostly 18-year-olds in Tokyo), so you might actually get an email or two...maybe you can sell them some "design"... Now, will you please sink back into the mists of time and quit disturbing me? PS: just as an aside, here's my take on the legality of all this. While we were married, all property was joint property, including all negs, photos, interviews, etc. After the Decree Absolute, a line was drawn in the sand. What you owned at that moment was what you owned. No more claims. If I have the negs, they're mine. If you have the negs, they're yours. Considering how well you cleaned me out in 1976, I'm very surprised you might have missed anything...but no matter. Bottom line, I own the Running Dogs from which these images and interviews were scanned. I have no photographs or negatives to give you. As I said before, I'll be happy to give you credit for the action of taking the pix, just as I gave Quagmire credit for co-authoring some of the interviews, but it ends after that. Now, go away.... Subject: Re: OK... From: Betty Joe Byolosky <bjb@rovingeye.ca> To: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> The only negative I have, and therefore the only one I can prove is mine, is the David Bowie, Get it off your sight. You were repelent then and you are repelent now. As my old friend Stan (you might remember him) said over a coffee the other day, "Why have anything to do with this asshole?" Subject: spellcheck? From: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> To: Betty Joe Byolosky <bjb@rovingeye.ca> Hey, BJ... that's "site", not "sight"... and it's "repellent", not "repelent"... I agree with Stan -- why do you care? Stan... wasn't he that university prof, the one you used to screw on your "weekend trips with the girls"? David doesn't remember you, and you know that... PS: over the last couple days, as I've pondered your unilateral demands and general bad humour, I've been interrupted by a single thought, which keeps creeping around the periphery: what's really happening? Why the call to Quagmire? Why mention me? Why the concern over an ancient photo? It's been a long time… After 26 years…well, who are you? Our brief liaison seems like another age, another life… your infidelity is a forgotten memory of the past… as it happened, my working career followed you, and my student career proceeded you, so you're really only present in a thin slice of my memories... the Running Dog days of sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll… fun, but fleeting… and then the creeping meatball rolled in… Betsie… you're a now-faded being from the past... made even more ethereal by the disembodied email... I see no face, hear no voice, have no knowledge about your life... and, oddly enuff, I have no interest in reacquainting myself with it or you. Let it go... then was then... now is now... Who am I? Certainly not the 30-year-old you once fucked over and left... really, this has brought back memories... in 1975 the deal was I was the boring jerk trying to learn how to write, and you were the antsy, artsy party girl... these silly old out-of-focus, grainy b&w prints aren't really that important, are they? What's this really all about? A single picture? No... what's important? Not still David bloody Bowie… Subject: One Lasst Time!! From: Betty Joe Byolosky <bjb@rovingeye.ca> To: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> Don't you how dare you mention David. If you refuse to remove MY PHOTOGRAPH from your sight, I will have to take further measures. Your being a real prick about this. You've lied to me about the David Bowie negs to get back at me. I know it. Subject: Amateur writers... From: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> To: Mark Lane <mark.lane@main.ca> Why is betty joe so upset? I figgered it out: her chemistry factory is breaking down, man... it's menopause! Check her latest splutter...The amateur always shows too much because the emotional imperative always overwhelms technique.. Quagmire is also involved, and he's desperately trying to keep the lowest of profiles... like Sgt Schultz, he sees nothing, knows nothing... Subject: Freudian slippage From: Mark Lane <mark.lane@main.ca> To: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> BJ spells "site" as "sight". The problem with e-mail is not its disposition towards grammatical error, but rather its unconscious confession of the truth. Was those extra insults included in the "let's make a deal and now fuck off" message that did it. As the song says, "A hiss is just a hiss..." (As Time Goes By) Subject: My Site Got Checked From: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> To: Mark Lane <mark.lane@main.ca> Jesus, man… I was checking my web stats last nite and I notice this odd url… so I boot it up and shit, it's an internet copyright investigation centre. Hire out to musicians, mostly… record companies… some authors, movies… if you can copy it, they're lookin for you. And, of course, you've got keywords popping out of the seams on your portal page… well… they've visited… wait & see time… Subject: copyright cops From: Mark Lane <mark.lane@main.ca> To: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> What did I say? Only a question of time. You're not using the Steely Dan tune anymore are you? Might get after you over any number of lifts. But they might be on the track of those rock star photos, even tho' music is their professed beat. I'm sure my site has been checked for the digi movie clips. However, as they are used exclusively in support of the film features, there should be no complaints. The good ole days of "open source" on the Net are drawing to a close. Subject: Post-Napster policing reopens ISP wounds From: Mark Lane <mark.lane@main.ca> To: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> This CNET Investor (http://investor.cnet.com/) story has been sent to you from mark.lane@main.ca This might add some light to the MIBs who checked you out... <!-- EDS: Original story posted 3/27, 11:30 am PST --> Facing the prospect of a post-Napster world, tension is starting to build between copyright holders and Internet service providers over who should police other file-swapping networks that are poised to step in as replacements. Subject: Private Eyes From: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> To: Mark Lane <mark.lane@main.ca> This ain't no napster thing, man... this is typical Betty Horror Show. Notice how she works: the quasi-friendly opening, the slow twist as your options dimish, then the final threatening stance. You could make a movie of it. Next thing, she'll be renting an apartment across the street and checking my schedule before she pulls a freakin B&E... she wants those negs, man... she wants 'em bad... perfect! Subject: Rage/Groupie e-book From: Mark Lane <mark.lane@main.ca> To: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> Was thinking, this BJB thing has the potential for something like Cameron Crowe's "Almost Famous" (which I haven't seen), a nice nostalgic reprise of 60's rock scene. Starts with the e-mail... and the demand... and this leads to "recollections" of the relationship. You could go hardcore, make her a groupie... who the journalist encounters in the scene (at a concert, say)... as the e-mail exchanges develop, so does the "recollection". Her LA location -- the coast is great, but maybe not fictional enough -- might be in the Mississippi Delta... how did she end up there? Etc. Things escalate -- she puts the Inter Net Police onto the guy. Why the hatred, why the obsession? Why in particular the pic of a certain star -- This could be the "key" to it all. Of course you might not want to go too deeply into this as the memories might be too much of a pissoff. Who needs agro in retirement? Woke up thinking about it -- the story has great potential. Subject: bow wow bowie From: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> To: Mark Lane <mark.lane@main.ca> ML… I've already thot about it…I'm already agro'ed… I dunno if I ever told you, but what finally put Betty and I over the edge was the '75 Bowie concert… she was wildly into the Thin White Duke schtick he was peddling at the time… she loved that upper-class brit crap… the evening goes smooth… we pick up our backstage passes, she takes all these shots at the concert, then we went back to Bowie's hotel for the usual fest of booze, dope and horny flacks with their handsfull of groupies… Gotta tell ya -- usually these after-gig parties were fun -- everybody was still wired from the performance… everybody pissed… the real drunks are droppin stuff off the balcony into the swimming pool 20 stories below... shades of Dylan's Don't Look Back... Betty heads off to check the scene, but I get led into the bathroom by the record company rep, a sleazy fat guy with big pinkie rings and friggin white shoes, who tells me he has set up an interview with the bowie knife himself… he'll find me when the Duke is ready… so I do the rounds, have a few pops, blow a little weed and check out the scene. I'm now noticing BB is nowhere to be found… I check with the flack, and he says she and DB are in an adjoining room… apparently she's taking pictures of him, and he doesn't want to be disturbed. There's nobody guarding the door, so I waltz in to discover bowie lying on the bed, naked, with a guy and a girl foldling his gonads. Betty, also naked, is on the bed with her camera, taking shots of bowie's hairless little dick… I couldn't believe it… Fuckin bowie opens his eyes, grunts, and sprays betty's camera with a shot of cum... by this time I'm laughing out loud... Betty's lookin surprised as hell… I'm rolling on the floor… bowie's got this hairless little dick! He sees me and let's out a shreik... some heavies appeared, grabbed me and tossed me out into the hall… landed on my little sony TC-55… just about broke a rib… went home… very pissed off… drank half a bottle of tequila and threw all her shit out on the front lawn. Nailed the doors shut. That was pretty well it for our bizarre friggin relationship… Subject: Mark One Down From: Mark Lane <mark.lane@main.ca> To: Quagmire <quag@queeg.com> Q... you know about Johnny's hassles with betty in the old days? Here's the email about betty and bowie he just sent me... Subject: Re: Mark One Down From: Quagmire <quag@queeg.com> To: Mark Lane <mark.lane@main.ca> Yeah. I know about all this crap. After the divorce, I was out with Johnny one nite for drinks, and just as we were getting comfy at the bar, up comes one of Betty's old girlfriends. She said she had heard about Johnny's split, and said it was best for him, as Betty apparently had started screwing around very soon after their marriage. Not just musicians. Their friends. Like Stan, her old prof... Johnny couldn't believe it. He was almost physically ill. Couldn't even drink. You know him... possessive as hell. When he found out he had been wandering around with horns, he simply lost it. Stupid fuck. Complained of a sharp tightening in his guts. He couldn't eat. I watched that go on for three months. He shredded 45 pounds. Finally had to go to the doctor for some appetite pills. That was the friggin worst, man... that's what turned him from uncaring to unforgiving. Subject: Let it go From: Mark Lane <mark.lane@main.ca> To: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> Hey, man... to bad... but it was a long time ago... you're happy now... hell, you and helen have been happening for what, almost 25 years? You got the negs? Give 'em to her... bury the past. Subject: I'm cool... From: Johnny Guitar <guitar@picks.mu> To: Mark Lane <mark.lane@main.ca> Oh, it's goin underground, all right... I've waited a long, long time. But it looks like it's been worth it. This meal may be cold, but it's delicious. No shit, those bowie negatives are the "key" all right… they're betty's direct link to her whacked-out world of groupie dreams. By now, that sexcapade with bowie has no doubt become the last supper of her ongoing obsession… but everything fades with time... with those photographs, her worship of the god-man, her photos of his magic juice, her fictionalizing of the event can be sharply frozen in time with the accuracy of a nikon lens. Can't you just imagine? There she is... the obsessive completist with the major piece of her personal puzzle tantalizingly close… but still so far away... she's thinking it would be best if they were burned, because then they'd be gone, and they wouldn't itch so much. But maybe, she thinks, maybe they still do exist… and if they do, where are they and how can she possess them again? Hope can be a cruel thing. Because, of course, she has no hope. Why? Because I have them. I have all her old negatives. All her original prints. She left them behind 26 years ago, and now they're mine. And they're going to stay mine. Maybe some day I'll tell her... maybe soon... I'll tell her what she craves more than anything is here with me. Then she'll know. Then she'll finally realize. Those images will always be... my possession. © Rick McGrath 2002 SHORT FICTION Pre-Computer Fiction Skeleton Key A winter weekend at a fabulous Muskoka cottage takes a strange twist as an architect's journal leads to a puzzling astrophysical conclusion... Type: Mystery Burnin Love A bookstore owner, crazy photograher and Elvis' mistress on the day The King died... Type: Occult Adman A day at work with an advertising copywriter and his erratic colleagues... Type: Satire Nutshell Two old friends reminsce about the past in a sleazy bar. Then the story unfolds... Type: Existential Jackson Whole A night in the life of a group of zany businessmen... Type: Humour 7th Sun A hitchiker meets a windsurfer on Hwy 1 near Cape Kennedy. Does the strange stone have anything to do with the Challenger explosion? Type: Occult